I Will Follow You Into The Dark
by chiasypee
Summary: Kim and Shego find out Kim has cancer. This one comes with a song; it adds to the atmosphere, so listen to it while reading, I guess. Songfic?


The song is I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab for Cutie. It's beautiful, go listen to it. Hey, is it me, or is this one a little rambly?

So it has recently come to my attention that an enterprising young man (tenshichan1013 of deviantart) made some fanart for this fic ages and ages ago (try 1 whole year)! I am, of course, THRILLED AND VALIDATED! Wish he told me, though. I could've linked to it sooner :/ Or maybe he did and I forgot, in which case, my apologies. Anyway, here are the URLs (it's a 2-parter):

tenshichan1013 dot deviantart dot com/art/KP-Into-The-Dark-87866183  
tenshichan1013 dot deviantart dot com/art/KP-I-ll-Follow-You-87866383

SQUEE

* * *

In the days leading up to the test results, Shego was even _more_ flippant than usual. She would casually, almost instantly, dismiss Kim's fearful suppositions that the doctor's suspicions were something more. "You're Kim Possible," she would insist maddeningly, and with an air of authority. "Luck's always been on your side."

It was not until Kim had not come running as was customary to Shego's cry of "Honey, I'm home!" that Shego wondered if something was wrong. She frowned slightly, but discarded the thought. "After all," she mused silently. "She might be out to the store or something."

Shego scowled a little when she found Kim sitting primly on the couch in the sitting room, seemingly engrossed in reruns of Oprah. Too engrossed to greet her partner? However, drowned in Shego's annoyance was a shard of relief. That Kim was fine, that she was not showing any outward signs of shock or sadness. Because, of course, that would mean _they_ had called Kim back, while she was out, with bad news.

Shego stepped lightly behind her and kissed the top of Kim's forehead while curling her arms around her shoulders. "So, what'cha watchin'?" Kim still had not breathed a word since Shego had come in. Shego was getting increasingly irritated. She had stopped thieving for _this_?!

"C'mon, princess, Oprah's not _that_ interesting." She stomped around the couch and knelt in front of Kim, placing her hands on Kim's knees. It was only then that she noticed how wide and unseeing Kim's eyes were. They stared blankly, straight through Shego at the television she now obscured.

"Pumpkin?"

The longer she stared, the more strangeness was made obvious. Kim's back was _uncomfortably_ straight, her posture _way_ too formal. Her hands were folded neatly in her lap. It would have looked like Kim was posing for a formal portrait but for her face. Her face was expressionless and neutral and robotic and gave Shego the heebie-jeebies.

"Pumpkin, what's wrong?" Shego reached out and caressed Kim's cheek lightly. Kim's pupils moved slowly, jerkily, to Shego.

And that was when Shego knew.

She inhaled sharply, before pulling Kim into a firm hug. Kim did not respond at first, but gradually, Shego began to feel her wracking sobs and the tears that stained her shoulder.

They stayed like that for what must have been an hour.

Kim fell asleep like that, leaning into Shego's embrace, the salty taste of her tears still on her tongue. Shego herself felt like bawling her eyes out, but knew now was not the time. Now was the time to be strong, to be there for her lover in her time of need. She gently lifted Kim, bridal-style, across the threshold of their sitting room to their bedroom and lay her on the bed, before shuffling wearily to the other side and joining her above the covers.

That night, only one of them slept.

Shego woke up the next morning alone still fatigued. Kim had, sometime during the morning, slipped out from under Shego's arms and left the bed. Shego washed up before shuffling into the sitting room and its attached kitchenette, following the aroma of sizzling bacon and strong coffee. Kim was standing in front of the stove cooking up a storm.

"Breakfast will be done in about five," said Kim in her usual upbeat voice. No, wait. That sounded a heckuva lot _more_ upbeat than normal. Taking careful note of this, she glided to Kim and embraced her again from the behind, resting her head on Kim's shoulder. Kim's frenetic cooking movements faltered before strengthening exponentially. "I haven't cooked anything in a long time, I know, but… I uh… I thought I should make it a point to do so, you know, before I… before…" she trailed off, weakly.

Shego let go of Kim and took the spatula from her hand. "Well, hey, princess, you haven't exactly been enjoying my cooking for eight years, either! Sit back, relax and enjoy the show." She gave Kim a small smile, and a gentle push to the waist towards the kitchen counter, and got to work.

Breakfast was consumed in silence, as the pair mulled over their thoughts.

As was the car ride back to the Middleton Hospital for a talk with their doctor.

"Morning, Ms. Possible, Ms. Go. How are you two toda—?"

"Look, Dr. B. I know it's your job to make us as comfortable as possible, but couldn't you just…"

Dr. Bavani nodded briefly, the polite smile on her face giving way to a serious expression. "We found a malignant tumour growing from the lining of Kim's uterus. It's a lucky thing she came in for that check-up, or we would have missed it."

Shego chanced a glance at Kim. Her eyes were, yet again, unfocussed and staring, this time at the family portrait that adorned Dr. Bavani's back wall. She grabbed Kim's hand and squeezed it gently, bringing Kim's eyes back to her. Shego tried to pass to Kim all her strength, all her love through the look they shared. Kim gave a start, as if waking from a dream, and cleared her throat hastily.

"So is there any way we can combat it?"

"It's spread too far. I'm… I'm sorry." The sympathetic doctor kept talking, but Kim somehow found herself unable to really hear her. Her mind was drifting slowly, focussing on unimportant things. "Is it just me, or is this office _way_ too white?" she thought to herself. And then suddenly she heard little whiffs of music, an acoustic guitar playing the beginnings of a familiar song in her head. Background music for her plight. "_Geez_, I've been watching too much Grey's Anatomy. Any moment now and a voice-over will start."

Another squeeze to her hand brought her attention back to the present. Both Shego and the doctor were staring at her, as if waiting for something. Kim tilted her head in question, and Shego sighed. "Dr. Bavani was just asking you if you wanted to go ahead with the chemo anyway."

"It isn't going to cure you," Bavani added hastily. "Just impede the speed to which it's spreading. Slow it down so you have more time."

Kim absentmindedly nodded and returned to her dream world, and her song, not wanting to remain in the real one any longer.

_Love of mine some day you will die  
But I'll be close behind  
I'll follow you into the dark_

Shego could tell her partner had retreated back into her shell, and turned back to the doctor to plan all the details for her.

The drive home was uneventful. Once in the apartment, Kim walked slowly towards the bedroom while Shego called up the Possible household.

"Hey, Anne, it's Shego. We just got back from the hospital and um… Yeah, they say it's terminal. I'm… we're fine, Kim's just, uh, a little shell-shocked right now."

_  
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white  
Just our hands clasped so tight  
Waiting for the hint of a spark_

"Yeah, we'll be right over. Huh? No, no I'm on leave. As of right now. Betty will understand… heh, yeah. Alrighty, see you then. Bye." She went into the bedroom, and found Kim lying, without moving, on her belly with her face buried into a pillow.

"Princess? We're going to your parents' house now. C'mon, sweetheart." She pulled Kim off the bed, noticing vaguely the suspicious wetness Kim had left behind on the pillow where her face had been._  
_

_If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs_

As soon as Shego pulled up along the driveway, the front door burst open. Anne and James burst out, striding swiftly towards them. She unbuckled herself and Kim and got out of the car, watching as Anne opened Kim's car door and James pulled his daughter out of the car and into his arms. Watching as Anne joined their hug. Watching the dam of emotions finally break, and all three Possibles begin to weep.

_  
If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark_

They were seated around the sitting room afterwards. Kim looked more alive, more expressive and attentive than she had since… since she found out. She was talking animatedly about life since she last saw her parents, Anne and James looking at her intently and nodding once every so often. Shego watched them, suddenly feeling very tired. A minute later, she excused herself and trudged into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Once certain she could not be heard, she slumped against the door and started to sob.

_  
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule  
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black_

This wasn't fair. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Kimmie spent her youth fighting crime, and _this_ was how the universe repaid her? "It should be _me_ dying," she realised numbly. "It should be _me_ gone."

_And I held my tongue as she told me  
"Son fear is the heart of love"  
So I never went back_

Their meeting with Ron and Monique went the same way, with the three of them hugging and weeping and talking about the old days, catching up on each other's lives, while Shego excused herself, went somewhere private and alternatively cried or hurled plasma at things.

As the news spread around, all sorts of people started to pay the pair visits in their apartment. The visitors ranged from Kim's friends, to the people Kim had helped back when she was saving the world, to villains from the old days. It was a completely unexpected, however, when Kim found _Bonnie Rockwaller_ at the door.

_  
_"Hey, Possible… Kim."

"Bonnie? _Bonnie Rockwaller_?!" Kim took a step back incredulously.

"Uh… yeah. I uh, I heard the news Poss—Kim. I just stopped by to tell you I'm…" She paused and took a breath, as if to gather up her nerve.

"I'm sorry the way things turned out between us… you know, back in high school. I was young, and popular, and… slightly _jealous_."

Kim blinked. Bonnie, apologising?! Scratch that. _BONNIE_?!?!?!?! She recovered quickly, though.

"Oh! Um, well, yeah, me too. I know I was a little, uh, overconfident at times back in the day… Uh… would you like to come in?"

"Ah, no, sorry. I uh, I have an appointment with my boyfriend. We're… we're going to watch Swan Lake. It's our anniversary," Bonnie finished, a little sheepishly. She had tried and failed to hide the contentment and satisfaction her statement was rife with. Her face was almost glowing with happiness.

"Ah… I see. Well, I hope the two of you have fun," Kim replied, trying her best to sound happy for them.

"Yeah… okay, well, I guess I'll see you around, Kim. Uh, here's my card. Call me if… you know, uh… anything's up." Bonnie mentally berated herself. Stupid, stupid, STUPID! Call me if anything's up?! She's going to _die_!

If Kim had noticed Bonnie's slip up, she didn't show it. They said goodbye one more time, giving one another an awkward hug, before Kim closed the door gently.

"Who was that, pumpkin?"

"Oh, no one. Just an old enemy from high school, come to say goodbye." Kim smiled to herself, before stepping back to the sitting room, and the movie, and the couch with Shego on it, and the snuggle she would surely be given.

_If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs_

As the weeks progressed, Kim got weaker and weaker. Though the loss of her weight, muscle definition and memory were rather depressing, what felt the worst was the loss of her beautiful red hair. Oh, and the pain. She spent hours every day moaning and crying in Shego's protective arms because of the pain. It was excruciating to watch, and Shego found herself sneaking off out of the apartment and taking her anger out on criminals and the like more and more often.

Eventually, it simply became more convenient that Kim just live in the hospital, and by extension, Shego. She spent every waking hour in Kim's ward, sometimes just sitting there, sometimes singing softly to her, sometimes holding her. Though against protocol, the nurses usually overlooked the fact that they would both fall asleep on Kim's bed, entwined together like vines. This _was_ Kim Possible, after all. Without her, there wouldn't even _be_ a hospital.

_  
If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark_

On her last morning, Kim woke up first. She was filled with a strange, inexplicable feeling of peace and contentment, feeling better than she had in weeks… Nay, years! Almost like… her teenage self had _always_ felt. Secure. Confident. I can do anything.

Kim spent the hours before breakfast watching the slumbering Shego. When the nurses brought in her meal, she gave a wan smile. "Ehhh, no thanks. I won't be needing this today. If you could bring me some paper and a pen, however…" The nurses complied, and Kim spent the remainder of her time painstakingly writing a note to Shego.

_You and me have seen everything to see_

_From Bangkok to Calgary  
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down  
The time for sleep is now  
It's nothing to cry about  
Cause we'll hold each other soon  
The blackest of rooms  
_

Shego was woken by the rushing of the nurses around her, and the doctor screaming orders. She shook her head to clear it as a pair of nurses ushered her off the bed and into a waiting chair, and as they readied a defibrillator unit.

_If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs_

She winced as Kim's body jerked, and began trembling violently at the steady whine of the electrocardiogram that signalled the absence of a heartbeat. The fear gave way to anger as she heard the doctor pronounce the love of her life dead and lit up when she heard the time.

"Hold on, doc. She ain't dead yet."

The doctor stared at her, and at her flaming hands, and cried once, nervously: "Dr. Possible!"

Cool hands restrained Shego's arms and pulled her out of the room. Shego struggled at first, causing smouldering burns on Mrs. Dr. Possible's scrubs. "She's not dead yet, Anne! She's still there! They're going to kill her!"

Anne hugged her tightly and Shego stopped resisting, opting instead to bawl loudly into her shoulder. It was… _nice_ being the weak one for a change.

_  
If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark_

Later, once she had calmed down, Shego noticed the little scrap of paper that had been stuffed into her ankle pouch. She unfolded it carefully and began to read the familiar cursive handwriting:

_Dear Shego,_

_I love you, and I'll miss you. Don't follow me into the dark.  
_

_Much love, Kimmie  
_

The note dropped from nerveless fingers, and the tears began anew.

_  
Then I'll follow you into the dark_


End file.
